Alisha Foster

Posted 12/13/2023

It’s a tough time of year for a lot of people. Whether you currently have a job you love, have a job you want to leave, or are looking for a job, the holiday season can cause a lot of pressure on us, and the lack of sunlight affects most of us, even if we don’t talk about it or realize it. If you are someone who is struggling, it’s important to know you are not alone. Many people around you have struggled similarly, and many have come out stronger and happier on the other side. If you need help or support, it’s almost always within arms reach.

My 2023 has been a long and winding road. It was a mixture of deep personal struggles and great times that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Honestly, I’m ending 2023 happier than I’ve been in years, but it wasn’t without effort and taking a step back to focus on myself. A brief recap of my 2023 -

- Engaged! I started this year engaged to my now husband. He proposed about 10 seconds before midnight on 12/31. It was a fantastic way to start the year 🙂

- Layoffs, the first that I was in the group to be laid off, so this was a new experience for me

- I almost immediately interviewed with a company I was excited about. I also received my first no ever after an in-person interview. While this should feel pretty normal, it hit me really hard, and I couldn’t shake it off the way I needed to.

- Our future puppy was born!

- Another interview, the one that changed the rest of my 2023. I absolutely bombed these interview sessions because I was panicking and could not calm myself down the entire day

- I immediately slowed down applying to jobs to take care of myself in a way I had needed to for years but hadn’t

- I began burying myself in busy work around the house to outrun my struggles.

- Puppy prep throughout the month to get ready to bring her home

- I was still keeping myself busier than I should have been and for the wrong reasons, but was starting to learn I needed to step back more

- A month after taking care of myself, I had another interview. It wasn’t for the role I applied for, but one they were excited to talk with me about. I really had to stop and think about myself this time. I figured out what I wanted in my career. I turned them down because it would not be a good fit for me. This was the first time I told another company no and advocated for my needs. After this, I became much pickier with my applications and who I networked with.

- Our puppy came home! A beautiful 8-week old cream-colored English Golden Retriever we named Kenna.

- My self-care started paying off. I started feeling more centered in my life, didn’t feel like I was spiraling, still wasn’t where I wanted to be but could feel the progress happening and was excited to be doing better. I started feeling more self-worth and started feeling empowered.

- And another interview. The company had a cool concept and was very small. They were looking for someone with experience I didn’t have yet. I left the initial interview unsure if it’d be a good fit for me and hesitant to continue the interview process if they wanted to continue. It was a great interview with good people, but I was unsure of my ability to be successful. This one ended up being a mutual no.

- Puppy chaos continued. Anyone who has had a puppy knows those first 2 months are exhausting. She settled in great, though!

- I finally hit a healthy life balance. I was taking care of myself, taking care of the home, working on professional development, writing blog posts, believing in myself and my path, training a puppy, building in relaxation and fun time, and was really happy. I was doing a lot, but in a balanced way and for all the right reasons, not as an escape, but as a choice. I had confidence in myself again.

- House problems popped up. The expensive kind that you don’t really expect. We got the issues fixed, but wow, it was stressful.

- My last interview happened. The one that landed me the job I have today at Great Minds. I felt good in the interviews, enjoyed talking with those I interviewed with, and was excited to combine my previous teaching experience with my QA experience

- I started my job at Great Minds and could immediately tell how happy I’d be here. (This remains true today. I honestly love this job)

- Preparations for our wedding celebration and honeymoon picked up speed

- As a follow-up to the May house issues, we re-sided the house and repaired all rotting and damaged wood that needed repairing

- I was able to take all I’ve learned from self-care so far and have it help me maintain a work/life balance, keep myself centered, and ensure I continue taking care of myself.

- Life was “back to normal.” I was happy, healthy and free of panic attacks, pushing myself at work, and protecting my inner peace while continuing with my self-care.

- Final preparations for our marriage celebration and honeymoon

Married and Celebrating! Our celebration was amazing, not without some bumps, but what would have been a catastrophe in February was completely manageable in September. We had a great time with our friends and family and created memories that will last a lifetime.

- Honeymoon. This was the most significant anticipated challenge of the year for me. I had not gone out much since 2020, and while we prepared for this a bit, I mostly just told myself it would all be ok, and I’d rip the bandaid off when it was time to. After 8 months of self-care and dedication to myself, this worked very well, and our honeymoon was amazing. It ended up being easy, with basically no struggle. I surprised myself with how much progress I had made.

- Home life was great, but again not without bumps. Having 4 pets, a puppy who was in the vet's office every 3 weeks for various things, working, and remembering to care for myself was not always easy. But it wasn’t an earth-shattering struggle, and it didn’t feel impossible. It just felt like everyday life that I could balance and be happy with.

- Tiredness sinks in. It happens to me every year. Vitamin D helps, but November is busy with birthdays, friends, and family. Weekends get filled up, and the lack of sun makes me sleepy. I also tend to get a never-ending headache from around mid-November until around February for most years since moving south.

- Work is still great, and home life is great. We figured out that part of our puppy’s issue is she has food sensitivities to pork, chicken, beef, and turkey, so we switched her to a fish-based diet, and things are on the mend for her. Yay for fewer vet bills.

- Even when I’m feeling physically bleh or tired, I can recognize how much good is happening in my life. I don’t struggle the way I did a year ago. I still care for myself, but it’s passive and easy and just a habit.

Basically, it is the same as November, holidays, friends, family, a bit more tired than usual, but everything is good. I have good spirits, can see all of the good happening in my life, and continue to take care of myself. I still have a work/life balance, our pets are healthy and happy, and things are good. Not every day is a good day. I’ve had days where I feel very stressed out, like when our stone wall fell over, leaving our yard open so the dogs could get out, and we didn’t realize it until one was not in the yard. Or when one of our dogs learned he could jump a low part of our fence, we had to fix that quickly. It’s apparently fence-fixing month 😅.

1. You are not alone in your struggles. Whatever is causing you to struggle right now, it’s very likely others are going through it too or have in the past
2. You are not stuck where you are right now. You are in control of your life, and you can make any change you need to make to find happiness and feel centered in life
3. Finding the right job for you may take time, but that’s ok! Finding the right job to help bring happiness into your life is worth it. We do spend 8+ hours at work every day after all
4. This time of year is tough. No matter how good life may be, take time for yourself. Self-care is very important and makes all the difference in the world
5. You can do this! Life is never 100% happy 100% of the time without stress or worry. You can handle the stress and worry, recognize the happiness in life, and find that balance.